"All the good guys are married, gay or idiots." How many times have you heard or said that lament? I'll bet it runs a close second to, "Have a nice day." Fortunately, it's not true.
Believe me; I know how tough it is for singles. I've heard some gruesome stories from some pretty terrific women. But keep looking, that special guy is out there.
There are lots of single men at large in this world, men who may not meet your qualifications - looks, intelligence, and personality, sense of humor, financial status, philosophy, and education. You have to mix and match the items to suit yourself. But if men were forced to guess could head a women's list most often, it would be money, and we act accordingly by playing the part of big spender in an effort to make a good impression in the early stages of a relationship.
Money generates intense anxiety in men. For starters, there's never enough of it, and I don't care if your name is Donald Trump. I've watched guys make complete fools out of themselves trying to prove to women that they commute to work in a convoy of armored vehicles, and then turn around and wonder why their lovable, warm, intelligent personalities seem to take a backseat to their bank balances.
Anxiety aside, many times it actually is income or professional status or power that qualifies or disqualifies men from the dating game. Male nurses are a perfect example, I watched an episode of the Today Show on men in nontraditional occupations, and the male nurses - guys who you'd think would be working in a bachelor's paradise, given the lopsided male-to-female ratio in hospitals - said it is more hell than heaven. The women, these men contended, are all more interested in the doctors. One of the male nurses said, "Here I am, I'm single, I'm heterosexual, not bad looking - but it's a no go. All I get from the female nurses are about what jerks the doctors are. And at the end of the day they're climbing into Mercedes with M.D. license plates."
Ok, revenge is sweet. We all get what we deserve, and perhaps guys who have chased after the perfect "10" deserve to have their checkbooks leered at and fondled. But I'm less concerned about this sort of rough justice than I am about men and women losing out on what might have been a solid relationship because the dollar signs obscured the love signs.
Mating ritual seems to require the male of the couple to prove he's got money to burn. We've been stoking the fire since we were teenagers. It's those ideas and attitudes left over from adolescence that tends to trip us up as adults. Which stereotype came first, Mr. High Roller, or Miss Gold Digger? While there is no way to know for sure, they probably hatched simultaneously out of the same egg, the one that's all over our faces when we refuse to grow up and look at other people as people, not objects - sex objects or success objects.
If good men are hard to find, rich good men are even harder to find. The search restricts women to a small pool of available men whose life-style and values may be at odds with a capacity for loving, sharing and commitment.
Examine your priorities and find out what you want in a man. Is he a grown-up version of the little big spender? Or is he a mature adult whose sum total adds up to more than the parts of his financial portfolio and career profile?
By Don Bernard
Want to crawl deeper into the rabbit hole that is the man's mind? Do you want to completely understand men and how you can use that secret information to better your odds in the dating world? Find your soul mate? Prevent yourself from being just a one-night-stand?
Read Dating Advice 101 [http://www.thebigdate.blogspot.com] and unlock all of these secrets. With over 400 pages, you sure to find a few gems!
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