Dating Tips For Women - Sexual Intimacy and Emotional Intimacy

One of the things that men and women have in common is the absolute need to be loved and to love in return. Emotional intimacy, a joining together of the spirit rather than the flesh, is how this love is conceived. Every human being depends on this process - and it isn't a process at all - that makes it sound too mechanical; there's too much chemistry and magic involved. Anyway, every human being depends on a certain amount of emotional intimacy to maintain balance and happiness and just to survive from day to day.

Where men differ from women is in their ability to have sexual intimacy without emotional intimacy. The link between the two is not as important for many men. It may be desirable for them to have emotional intimacy with their lovers, and it may mean a more pleasurable sexual experience, but if it's absent, that's OK too.

Sure, there are women too who could care less about emotional intimacy, sex is what's important to them. And there are men who demand emotional intimacy before they'll even think about loosening their neckties. There are no hard and fast rules that apply to everyone. But most men tend to give emotional intimacy a lower priority.

This can become a natural source of conflict between men and women. When a women's need for emotional intimacy is not fulfilled, either before or after sexual intimacy, frustration and disappointment can set in. "What's wrong with him?" or "What's wrong with me?" are the kinds of questions that bubble to the surface. And in reality, there is nothing wrong with either of them.

Men move toward emotional intimacy at a slower pace than women do. They'll probably get there, but it will not be in record breaking time.

I can recollect from my dating years that for the most part, women seem to be in such a hurry to move the date into a relationship. Usually the first date will go good, next thing I knew, she would be making plans for us like we were a couple. "We'll go here......... we'll go there............ we'll do this......." We were barely more than strangers, really, and now all of the sudden - WE"RE A COUPLE! I found that she would see a permanent relationship form long before I did. And we would be moving down the road of emotional intimacy at two completely different speeds.

A first date is not grounds for rushing to the mall and registering your fine china pattern. Slow down. I'm not talking about playing hard to get, for that is a throwback to whole other era. I believe in being reasonably honest and upfront about your feelings. Men are not scared off by straight talk, but they do get nervous when control seems to be slipping away. Finding out that you are already a couple before the popcorn gets cold and before the film's opening credits are done can be a bit surprising to men.

Unfortunately, there is no reliable formula for turning on the valve and letting emotional intimacy flow. Certainly, the first date is too early. Look for signs that his need for emotional intimacy is beginning to ignite, but don't confuse this with his need for sexual intimacy - that's already burning.

By Don Bernard

Want to crawl deeper into the rabbit hole that is the man's mind? Do you want to completely understand men and how you can use that secret information to better your odds in the dating world? Find your soul mate? Prevent yourself from being just a one-night-stand?

Read Dating Advice 101 [http://www.thebigdate.blogspot.com] and unlock all of these secrets. With over 400 pages, you sure to find a few gems!

View the original article here

Dating Tips For Women - All the Good Guys Are Either Married Or Gay

"All the good guys are married, gay or idiots." How many times have you heard or said that lament? I'll bet it runs a close second to, "Have a nice day." Fortunately, it's not true.

Believe me; I know how tough it is for singles. I've heard some gruesome stories from some pretty terrific women. But keep looking, that special guy is out there.

There are lots of single men at large in this world, men who may not meet your qualifications - looks, intelligence, and personality, sense of humor, financial status, philosophy, and education. You have to mix and match the items to suit yourself. But if men were forced to guess could head a women's list most often, it would be money, and we act accordingly by playing the part of big spender in an effort to make a good impression in the early stages of a relationship.

Money generates intense anxiety in men. For starters, there's never enough of it, and I don't care if your name is Donald Trump. I've watched guys make complete fools out of themselves trying to prove to women that they commute to work in a convoy of armored vehicles, and then turn around and wonder why their lovable, warm, intelligent personalities seem to take a backseat to their bank balances.

Anxiety aside, many times it actually is income or professional status or power that qualifies or disqualifies men from the dating game. Male nurses are a perfect example, I watched an episode of the Today Show on men in nontraditional occupations, and the male nurses - guys who you'd think would be working in a bachelor's paradise, given the lopsided male-to-female ratio in hospitals - said it is more hell than heaven. The women, these men contended, are all more interested in the doctors. One of the male nurses said, "Here I am, I'm single, I'm heterosexual, not bad looking - but it's a no go. All I get from the female nurses are about what jerks the doctors are. And at the end of the day they're climbing into Mercedes with M.D. license plates."

Ok, revenge is sweet. We all get what we deserve, and perhaps guys who have chased after the perfect "10" deserve to have their checkbooks leered at and fondled. But I'm less concerned about this sort of rough justice than I am about men and women losing out on what might have been a solid relationship because the dollar signs obscured the love signs.

Mating ritual seems to require the male of the couple to prove he's got money to burn. We've been stoking the fire since we were teenagers. It's those ideas and attitudes left over from adolescence that tends to trip us up as adults. Which stereotype came first, Mr. High Roller, or Miss Gold Digger? While there is no way to know for sure, they probably hatched simultaneously out of the same egg, the one that's all over our faces when we refuse to grow up and look at other people as people, not objects - sex objects or success objects.

If good men are hard to find, rich good men are even harder to find. The search restricts women to a small pool of available men whose life-style and values may be at odds with a capacity for loving, sharing and commitment.

Examine your priorities and find out what you want in a man. Is he a grown-up version of the little big spender? Or is he a mature adult whose sum total adds up to more than the parts of his financial portfolio and career profile?

By Don Bernard

Want to crawl deeper into the rabbit hole that is the man's mind? Do you want to completely understand men and how you can use that secret information to better your odds in the dating world? Find your soul mate? Prevent yourself from being just a one-night-stand?

Read Dating Advice 101 [http://www.thebigdate.blogspot.com] and unlock all of these secrets. With over 400 pages, you sure to find a few gems!

View the original article here

Dating Advice For Women - Skinny Women Or Fat - Which Do Men Prefer?

There is a particular machine in almost every gym in America that is an absolute killer. It's designed to tighten up the abdominal muscles. Every day for two weeks, a cousin of mine fought that thing, and she was suffering. Why? She was going to the Caribbean on vacation and she had to take an extra inch off her waist. I thought she looked great, but that extra inch became an obsession for her.

Men are largely immune to women's fashions and trends and are less susceptible to fat phobia, which sends women off on torturous diet routines that are questionable at best, actually dangerous to their health at worst. Keeping a few pounds off is fine, but anorexia is not sexy.

The media has sold women a bill of goods that promise to make them skinny and be the center of attraction in men's eyes. In honesty, there are a lot of men out there who like women with fat on them - not just pleasingly plump, but fat.

Obviously, you have to decide to what's best for your own health. There are risks in being overweight; I'm not recommending obesity. But sanity dictates some retreat from the Madison Avenue image of women.

I've seen an audience applaud when a woman stood up and announced that she had lost 95 pounds. The audience acted as if she won the Nobel Peace Prize. The suggestion seems to be that fat is inferior, that if you're not skinny you're a second class citizen. If a svelte waistline is so important, why do the legal bordellos in Nevada always feature at least one, and usually more, Rubenesque woman? That old-fashioned look is definitely out, and has been for decades, yet those who practice the world's oldest profession don't seem to care.

Why should you?

By Don Bernard Want to crawl deeper into the rabbit hole that is the man's mind? Do you want to completely understand men and how you can use that secret information to better your odds in the dating world? Find your soul mate? Prevent yourself from being just a one-night-stand?

Read Dating Advice 101 [http://www.thebigdate.blogspot.com] and unlock all of these secrets. With over 400 pages, you sure to find a few gems!

View the original article here

Dating Tips For Women - What NOT to Do on the First Date

First dates are tricky, and I don't think anybody ever really masters the technique. I have a friend who runs a haircutting salon, and I asked her to find out from the customers - male and female - what NOT to do on a first date.

1. Don't talk about your ex's

2. Don't give him the third degree about his former girlfriends

3. Don't make a big thing about being on a diet, especially if he has taken you to a fancy restaurant.

4. Don't hire a financial rating service to do a background check.

5. Don't look too surprised if he asks you to split the check.

6. Don't forget your date's name.

7. Don't lose a contact lens.

8. If you do lose a contact lens, don't get down on your knees to look for it.

9. Don't ask the waiter for a doggie bag.

10. Don't ask him to ask the waiter for a doggie bag.

11. Don't laugh if he asks the waiter for a doggie bag.

12. Don't ask if he has a dog.

While we are on the subject of first dates, I want to pass along a supposedly foolproof method for determining how good a guy will be in bed by watching the way he eats. Don't blame me if it doesn't work, though I am merely the middleman on this one. I have heard that it is very accurate.

It is said that if he carefully cuts everything up and moves the food around until it's just perfect, forget it. He's a dud. The one who digs in and goes for it, relishes it and eats it like it's his first and last meal is going to be gangbusters in the bedroom.

It now makes me wonder about the guy who doesn't use a fork at all; rather he just lays his head down to the plate and inhales it whole?

By Don Bernard

Want to crawl deeper into the rabbit hole that is the man's mind? Do you want to completely understand men and how you can use that secret information to better your odds in the dating world? Find your soul mate? Prevent yourself from being just a one-night-stand?

Read Dating Advice 101 [http://www.thebigdate.blogspot.com] and unlock all of these secrets. With over 400 pages, you sure to find a few gems!

View the original article here

Dating Advice For Women - Why Men Stare at Your Breasts and Not Your Dress - Make-up Or Hair

The tendency to overlook the stark reality of the basic man starts early in life. The first dress that's purchased in order to grab the attention of a "special" boy is where it begins. Then come fancy haircuts, cosmetics and diets. In the end, probably 90% of all the efforts failed to register.

Men are oblivious to much of what women do to interest and attract them. I said "much," and this is where it's easy to lose track of what is and isn't getting through.

Let me set the scene: an elegant restaurant in a fancy east coast city; 4 men in their late twenties and early thirties are enjoying dinner; there are lots of laughs and excellent conversation around the table. A good looking couple enters the main dining room. The woman is wearing a see through blouse, without a bra.

What a surprise! The guys notice. They aren't looking at her eye shadow, or notice that her gold earrings match the bracelet. They are admiring, her breasts.

As the couple moves across the room, it becomes perfectly obvious that they are being watched by an appreciative audience. When she gets into range, the woman turns to the nearest man at the table and snaps, "What do you think you are staring at?" Under the circumstances, it's a question that rates with Grouch's "Who's buried in Grant's tomb?"

What did she think they were staring at? What was the point of wearing the revealing blouse in the first place? Those four men weren't blind.

But again, they didn't notice the expensive haircut and the manicure. It wasn't a matter of being rude, or immature, or sex-crazed. When it comes to women, a man's optic nerves run directly to his crotch.

The news shouldn't be much of a shock, but the facts of life get rearranged by those who like to sell a new line of fall fashions, designer cosmetics, or high speed liposuctions.

Men are "supposed" to be turned on by a particular shade of lipstick. Men are "supposed" to be turned on by little button noses. Men are "supposed" to be turned on by skinny women. Says who? Cosmetic czars? Plastic Surgeons? Millionaire diet doctors?

The message that gets lost in the chorus of special interest pleading is the most important one of all - Men are attracted to breasts. Simple.

By Don Bernard Want to crawl deeper into the rabbit hole that is the man's mind? Do you want to completely understand men and how you can use that secret information to better your odds in the dating world? Find your soul mate? Prevent yourself from being just a one-night-stand?

Read Dating Advice 101 [http://www.thebigdate.blogspot.com] and unlock all of these secrets. With over 400 pages, you sure to find a few gems!

View the original article here